When do you really have time to look at who you really are? With managing family, a job, your brand, your social media, and the tremendous desire to live a life of purpose…when do you have time to fully examine yourself, to even know what it means to be who you are?
I can tell you, I haven’t had much time to think about it either. I actually chose to believe that I was the perfect imperfect person in my head. I didn’t proclaim to know it all, but I was confident in that which I knew. I never thought that I was everyone’s favorite, but I was certainly likable. I wouldn’t have considered myself a liar, but I wasn’t always truthful. These are the things that I was contending with…being honest with myself about who I am and who I truly desire to be.
To Be Who You Are, You Must be Honest with Yourself
The hardest thing I’ve ever done is to be honest with myself – which is a must if you want to truly be who you are. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. So many things happen in life, and sometimes it’s hard to appreciate the good due to the severity of the bad.
So earlier this year I hired a blog coach, who turned out to be so much more than a “blog” coach. I had to admit recently to her that I was hiding my truths. When she asked why I was hiding, I said that I was afraid that people would judge me. But then this statement was made “well the real concern is, if you are hiding in those areas what other areas are you hiding”?
My heart nearly stopped, and I tried to hide the panic on my face of revealing my flaws. Ironically, I am going through a very bitter sweet time in my life. While I am pursuing a life of purpose, I am challenged in a lot of ways. So this question further revealed to me that I have a few more layers to peel back before I make it to the core of who I was created to be.
I know, I know, what does my hiding have to do with you coming to be who you are? Well…my hiding has nothing to do with you, but what you’re hiding has everything to do with you. I hid because…
- I hid because… I am sometimes afraid of success.
- I hid because… I am not always confident in my ability to succeed.
- I hid because… I have not always been who I am.
- I hid because, until now… I was not ok with who I WAS.
Who was that exactly? I’m glad you asked
I was a girl that was born as a product of rape, who desired a normal relationship with my parents, and at a very young aged raped myself just to grow up thinking that men only wanted me for sex.
I was a girl wounded and scared, who fought like hell to live beyond my scars.
I was a girl raised by a grandmother that sewed a promise in my heart that I was worthy of loving.
I was a girl that lived far too long in the shadows of my greatness and decided that it was time for me to live as I was created to live.
What about you?
When will you decide to let go of who you are not, and be who you are, who you were created to be?
In life, the choices we make eventually make us. And those experiences shape and could possibly ruin our lives. But they don’t have to. I recently watched a movie that changed my life, my heart, and my thinking. It was called Me Before You. It’s a beautiful story of a mother’s love, a man’s determination to stay true to himself, and a women’s journey of learning to live.
During the movie I had so many thoughts. The title Me Before You rang so loud in my head. I thought of me before my audience, and how easy it would be if I did not have to contend with myself so I can help you be a better you. I thought of me before my son and how blessed I am to be his mother, but how important it is for me to take care of myself so that I can properly parent him. I thought of me before my husband, and how thankful I am to be with him but I certainly don’t want to lose the qualities that attracted him to me in the first place. I thought about me before Christ, and this is when everything changed….again. I don’t want to ever go back to her.
Live Boldly and Freely
That was the me that made me hide. She’s been my biggest hurdle, and even my greatest enemy. She was the enemy in me. At the end of the movie, the man writes a letter. It said a lot, but the last words to her were LIVE BOLDLY AND FREELY.
That’s what I’m doing from today forward. I’m living boldly and freely in my specific and unique purpose. And I challenge you to do the same.
- Be honest with yourself about why and what you hid, and who you desire to be…then be it.
- Don’t let the disappointments of your past determine your amazing future.
- Don’t compare yourself to others, you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
It’s really true, we overcome by the power of our testimonies. Becoming who we were created to be is not easy. If you need to hire a coach, or link up with an accountability partner to help you….you should. “So do yourself a favor, share your story below about your quest to be who you are and allow others to be set free to share theirs!”
I’m very proud of you for sharing and being bold and free. You are a gift to me and to so many women and moms. Marianne Williamson wrote in “A Return to Love: “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Thank you for being willing to shine!
It was not easy…but as I share it is so freeing to me as well.