Typically I end my year with a “Year In Review” article highlighting a few of the years’ experiences. This year, because 2022 was such a game-changer, I wanted to take a different route. I am very thankful when I think about my year as a whole. I did and participated in some fun and pretty dope work. However, the more significant gains had nothing to do with what I did but more with what I learned.
Endings Are Essential To Growth
This is titled “The Year of Endings” because I learned that I needed to end this year acknowledging that “endings” are essential for growth. My endings aren’t just about people, partnerships, or pleasures… it’s more about my thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. I discovered my desperate need to end my reasoning, decisions, and actions around desperately feeling the need to be who others needed rather than who I am.
End Toxic Everything
I’ve ended a long-term relationship with self-doubt, shrinking, and the fear of success – I have my process of dealing with the traumatic experiences in my life to thank for that. The more I acknowledged, accepted, and associated my thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors resulting from trauma, the clearer my journey to healing became. I didn’t even realize how harmful I was to myself until 2022.
You see, my endings were also my beginnings. Yes, I ended relationships with people, partnerships with brands, and the idea that I am what I do to earn a living. While some were more painful than others, all were necessary for this new chapter to begin.
Make Room For Authenticity
The most impactful ending was the ending of my lack of faith and trust in God and the doubt that I had of becoming who He created me to be. Over the years, I became a person that I barely recognized. Last year was the most obvious. My relationship with God took a deep dive, and I missed the drop in altitude because I was too busy trying to mask my insecurities, ultimately hindering my authentic relationship with Christ and my ability to live my authentic life.
As a result, I did not operate at my highest capacity in any area of my life. This revelation was a wake-up call and the confirmation that 2022 would be the year of endings. Let’s be clear; you know you can do great things and not operate in your greatness. That’s what I’ve been doing. I always say, “it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way.” I sincerely want to be my best self. I wanted to identify, address, and overcome the implications of my traumatic childhood, daddy issues, and toxic beliefs about myself and others so that I could vibrate higher, shine brighter, love harder, and be more assertive.
I want to enjoy things that genuinely matter entirely. I want to be fully aware, present, and authentic. I want to be a kind, loving person; a supportive wife; and a wonderful present mom. I want to do right by people, give to those in need, and serve God wholeheartedly. So, here’s the end of a watered-down version of myself and the beginning of life more abundantly.
Happy New Year,
Happy New Year to you as well! I hope for a great year this year. I love the idea of ending toxic things. That is so important.