It takes courage to set boundaries. Especially boundaries around your family, your time and your energy. For years I’ve heard people talk about setting boundaries, and I’d agree but I never really implemented boundaries in my life. I’m not sure why, but I think I thought I didn’t have a need for boundaries. Like, I had it all together and was completely balanced and good.
Well, that changed just the other day as I was talking with my Coach Elayna. She’s coaching me through a very unique phase, and while I’m not sure all that we will tackle during this phase, I learned very quickly that I needed to set boundaries so that I can fulfill my life’s purpose.
Lately, I’ve been making a lot of changes, it seems that once I make one change the need for another is vastly approaching. And while I’m not opposed to change, I felt that if I were to get clear on a few things perhaps the need for change wouldn’t be often.
During my conversation with Elayna, boundaries came up and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My eyes got so big. I couldn’t even let her finish her thought before I burst out saying “Oh my goodness. That’s what God has been saying to me during my quiet time. I need to set boundaries.” A huge smile came across Elayna’s face as she continued to share with me how boundaries would make things clearer for me.
You see, before I had that Mary J. Blige “Love Without Limits” attitude when it came to boundaries. Do you know the song?
Baby, there’s no need to tell ya
As far as I can clearly recall
My love has been here for you
So you don’t have to worry at all
I’ll sacrifice my time
I’ll make sure you’re satisfied
And it’s no hard thing to the joy I bring
I want to give you all my love
That’s all I want to do…..
I was always willing to give my all to everyone, and I sacrificed the time I needed for myself. Boundaries sounded so restrictive to me before. It was as if I was saying to myself that I couldn’t do something. Now I get it. Setting boundaries is like being free. Living free does not mean I do what I want, it means that I am free to live the complete life that Christ created me to live in the confines of His goodness and mercy. Setting boundaries gives me permission and freedom to focus on the things that I was created to do in this life.
I’m ready! I’m ready to fearlessly set boundaries so that I can truly live a life of purpose, in abundance and financially free. And I need you to be my accountability partner. Are you in? I hope so, by setting boundaries I am allowing myself:
- To take care of my own needs by saying no to things that does not serve my purpose.
- To have more freedom to focus on what’s important to me, like my health, family and future.
- Protect my physical and emotional space from distractions that can potentially take me off track.
- To be more creative in my writing, speaking and extracurricular activities.
- To teach people how to treat me…with respect and care.
I know now that having boundaries in life is critically important. Not only will it free you from the frustration you feel when you don’t take care of yourself, but it will teach people how to treat you.
For too long I’ve placed others’ needs above my own. I’ve agreed to help when I didn’t want too. I’ve said yes to projects because I did not want to be seen as selfish. I realize that I was only hurting myself. Being selfish is not a bad thing, especially when self can use a little love. We are to love our neighbors as ourselves; well, that means we love ourselves first. Setting boundaries means I am properly loving myself.
Perhaps you’ve struggled with setting boundaries. Or you may have set boundaries but not stuck to your guns with implementing them. Now is the time! If we are going to live our lives with purpose, on purpose then setting boundaries is absolutely essential.
What boundaries do you need to set in your life? What do you need to do to ensure that you stick to those boundaries that you’ve set? Let’s become a better version of ourselves together!
© LaToyia Dennis ~ Motivated Mom
P.S. For additional resources around setting boundaries please check out Elayna’s series “How to set Clear Firm Healthy Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty.”