Hey Beautiful! Yes, I called you beautiful and I meant it. Didn’t that feel great? To be called beautiful…or for someone to simply see you for who you are is such a special feeling.
I recently had a conversation with a friend while traveling for work. We were sitting in her hotel room having cake and cocktails taking about life and the similar things that we are dealing with now from events when we were children. It was so ironic. We discovered we had so many experiences we didn’t realize we had in common.
I began telling her about a very interesting place that I find myself in this season of my life. How I am becoming more conscious of how the situations and circumstances of my past truly affected my life along with how they are showing up in various areas of my life impacting my decisions making. Have you had this happen to you?
I thought by acknowledging my past I would be able to move forward. And now, I am realizing that isn’t the case at all. Just because I acknowledged, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to deal with the consequences of it happening. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have to work through my insecurity, confidence, or self-love issues. Have you ever had to deal with things from your past that affected you moving forward with life?
My friend told me that my life was so similar to her life. She then said to me, “if you never do anything else for me, I will love you just the way you are.” My eyes began to tear up and I looked at her with this shocked and very vulnerable look on my face. And she further explained her comment by saying, “you give to everyone all the time, and you don’t have to give me anything to love you. I love you for being you.”
I was hardly able to see her face through my tears. I was crying because I truly appreciated her friendship and those very kind words. I was also crying because I truly discovered my worth first hand. Those words helped me to love, appreciate, and see myself even if no one else does. Once I stopped crying, I told her how much I truly appreciated her with those very kind words and how those words helped me to see the pain and circumstances of my past were restricting me in my present.
As a kid, I was mostly recognized when I was giving to others. If I cleaned the house, helped with homework, or gave them toys to play with….it mattered when I was giving. So, to get the attention that I desired I did for others even to my own detriment. I realized that things were not too different in my adult life. My blog coach told me once that I was “hiding” in my writing. She said, “if you are hiding in one area, you are hiding in other areas as well”. Well, during my conversation with my friend I thought about Elayna’s comment about hiding. I was hiding from myself.
This confession is bringing tears to my eyes all over again. As it was the first time ever that I’ve admitted that I have not been honest with myself about who I was. I did not truly love and appreciate myself with all of my imperfections for who I was.
When I made it back to my room, I sat on the bed with tears falling down my face once again while I said aloud “LaToyia I love you. I believe in who you are and I forgive you for the mistakes you’ve made. You are bigger than the sum of your mistakes and you are not to blame for the awful things that happened to you. You are a gem of a person and if you were not the Motivated Mom, a sought-after fundraiser, or an encourager of people in general…I would still love you. If you did not serve at church, or give to those less fortunate…I would love you. I love you LaToyia. I love you for simply being the person God created you to be. The person He knew you would be before you were formed in your mother’s womb. And while your mother’s experience with conception wasn’t pleasant, your creation was perfect. I love you LaToyia and you deserve all that God had for you”.
You see, I now know that we show others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Sometimes you are doing such a great job but your own personal hurt and pain can blind you from your own greatness. God will sometimes send a friend to tell you something about you that you could not see about yourself that will trigger you to see yourself the way He created you…. very valuable! And guess what, it doesn’t make you self-centered or full of yourself but makes you appreciative, powerful, focused, and happy that you now know your worth and what matters most – YOU!
Do you know your worth? Your worth is not defined by your past, job, money, or how others feel about you. Your mistakes, failures, and shortcomings does not dictate your worth. You are worthy because you are.
© LaToyia Dennis ~ Motivated Mom