Hey Beautiful! Yes, I called you beautiful and I meant it. Didn’t that feel great? To be called beautiful…or for someone to simply see you for who you are is such a special feeling.
I recently had a conversation with a friend while traveling for work. We were sitting in her hotel room having cake and cocktails taking about life and the similar things that we are dealing with now from events when we were children. It was so ironic. We discovered we had so many experiences we didn’t realize we had in common.
I began telling her about a very interesting place that I find myself in this season of my life. How I am becoming more conscious of how the situations and circumstances of my past truly affected my life along with how they are showing up in various areas of my life impacting my decisions making. Have you had this happen to you?
I thought by acknowledging my past I would be able to move forward. And now, I am realizing that isn’t the case at all. Just because I acknowledged, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to deal with the consequences of it happening. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have to work through my insecurity, confidence, or self-love issues. Have you ever had to deal with things from your past that affected you moving forward with life?
My friend told me that my life was so similar to her life. She then said to me, “if you never do anything else for me, I will love you just the way you are.” My eyes began to tear up and I looked at her with this shocked and very vulnerable look on my face. And she further explained her comment by saying, “you give to everyone all the time, and you don’t have to give me anything to love you. I love you for being you.”
I was hardly able to see her face through my tears. I was crying because I truly appreciated her friendship and those very kind words. I was also crying because I truly discovered my worth first hand. Those words helped me to love, appreciate, and see myself even if no one else does. Once I stopped crying, I told her how much I truly appreciated her with those very kind words and how those words helped me to see the pain and circumstances of my past were restricting me in my present.
As a kid, I was mostly recognized when I was giving to others. If I cleaned the house, helped with homework, or gave them toys to play with….it mattered when I was giving. So, to get the attention that I desired I did for others even to my own detriment. I realized that things were not too different in my adult life. My blog coach told me once that I was “hiding” in my writing. She said, “if you are hiding in one area, you are hiding in other areas as well”. Well, during my conversation with my friend I thought about Elayna’s comment about hiding. I was hiding from myself.
This confession is bringing tears to my eyes all over again. As it was the first time ever that I’ve admitted that I have not been honest with myself about who I was. I did not truly love and appreciate myself with all of my imperfections for who I was.
When I made it back to my room, I sat on the bed with tears falling down my face once again while I said aloud “LaToyia I love you. I believe in who you are and I forgive you for the mistakes you’ve made. You are bigger than the sum of your mistakes and you are not to blame for the awful things that happened to you. You are a gem of a person and if you were not the Motivated Mom, a sought-after fundraiser, or an encourager of people in general…I would still love you. If you did not serve at church, or give to those less fortunate…I would love you. I love you LaToyia. I love you for simply being the person God created you to be. The person He knew you would be before you were formed in your mother’s womb. And while your mother’s experience with conception wasn’t pleasant, your creation was perfect. I love you LaToyia and you deserve all that God had for you”.
You see, I now know that we show others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Sometimes you are doing such a great job but your own personal hurt and pain can blind you from your own greatness. God will sometimes send a friend to tell you something about you that you could not see about yourself that will trigger you to see yourself the way He created you…. very valuable! And guess what, it doesn’t make you self-centered or full of yourself but makes you appreciative, powerful, focused, and happy that you now know your worth and what matters most – YOU!
Do you know your worth? Your worth is not defined by your past, job, money, or how others feel about you. Your mistakes, failures, and shortcomings does not dictate your worth. You are worthy because you are.
I DO know my worth and I am SO glad that you do now too! Your friend is amazing and the world needs more people like her AND more people like YOU who will share their stories with us like you did!
You have probably changed someone’s life with this post!
I got teared up reading this, but not from sadness…I am so happy that you have made so many great strides and accomplishments in your life. I relate to some of the things that you said and I am encouraged by you to give myself the permission to move forward.
I am an amazing person. I love that God made us all so unique.
Yes, you are!
This is a beautiful post and an important reminder to be kind to ourselves!
That you are worthy because you are is a great method. We could all do well to keep this in mind.
Yes, we put so many stipulations on whether we are worthy or not.
Really inspiring about your thoughts! As an individual person, we must know how worthy we are in our society, family, and friends for that reason we build our confidence, respect, and love from the people around us.
Knowing our worth is necessary…but not always easy. Especially when there was a troubling childhood.
Sometimes when someone says to us “you are beautiful” instead of acknowledging the compliment, we tend to give other meanings of it.
If you believe to yourself you are beautiful and strong, others will see it too.
So true! So very true!
Ah Latoyia! I feel like you wrote this to me today. What a wonderful message you are sending out. I am not feeling worth a lot these days, but I do know two little people rely on me and I want them to always feel worthy, so I have to find a way to see that in myself too. Thanks for the great message!
This is very sweet and inspiring. Thank you for sharing!
What a great post. It is so important to love yourself. If you don’t it makes loving others very hard.
So agree with you. Loving yourself is the most important thing to do. Affirmations are a great way to get into this habit
This was such a beautiful, meaningful post. It can be difficult sometimes recognizing that our value goes far beyond our job, assets, etc. We are worthy because we are! That is such a beautiful sentiment.
What a powerful post and story! It can be hard for some, like me, to get to that point, but once you do, it sounds amazing!
How true. Totally agree. Lovely post. Thanks for sharing?
Thank you so much for this. It was clearly something I needed as it was perfect timing. I often find myself doing things for others so much so I’ve developed a martyr like persona–which seems to be great for everyone else. But has sadly made me very resentful, especially to those closest to me. I need to start being a lot more honest with myself and others.
Thank you so much!
I have to say, I really do love myself. Even though I am not perfect (what is perfectionism anyways?) and I have flaws, I still love me. We only have ourselves, so really it’s POINTLESS to hate yourself – that’s only going to make life miserable!
This is such a great reminder that I think everyone needs occasionally. It’s so easy to get burnt out now days. Thank you!!
This is such a good read. I do know my worth and I’m glad I did. How we see ourselves is how others see us.
I love how you say “this season of your life.” It’s very poetic and romantic! And what a wonderful memory to cherish with your friend. Those were some very kind and powerful words she said to you—and clearly from your reaction, you thought so, too!
Very good advice. You also have to learn to accept a compliment without a but. Just say thank you.